Loving Your Kids on Purpose Testimonies

Thank you for sharing your testimonies with Loving On Purpose, keep them coming!

Mother of four:

Jenny overslept this morning and missed her bus. Here’s how our conversation went:

Me: “Oh NO! What are you going to do?

Jenny: I don’t know. Could I pay you to drive me?

Me: Sure, how much are you paying?

Jenny: $5

Me: Ok. Oh and you’re going to have to wake up your brother & sister and get them ready too.

Jenny: Ok

Then she proceeds to get her brother up. She had to go get his clothes for him too. The younger one, Hailey…is a tough one. Kenzie ended up offering to pay her $1 and do her chores for the day. The offer of payment worked and she finally got Hailey to get up and get dressed after about 20 minutes! It was really kind of funny. All went well and Kenzie was late to school…but there was no yelling or tantrum throwing! I LOVE this!!!

Mother of Three:
That's awesome!!! Isn't this so freeing when they're learning how to solve their own problems and she already knows the language and how it works!!! Well done!!! I agree Loving on Purpose had radically changed our lives and our children too. We've read tons of books, done Growing Kids Gods Way, gone to parenting seminars and classes, tried lots of different things and I can honestly say not one of those has grabbed my husband's and my heart like Loving on Purpose has!! We are forever changed. Among the Holy Conviction of tears and laughter arises Biblical truth and tangible practical ways that we as parents can stop passing on the Sins of our Fathers and once again have heart connections with our kids and peace in our homes.

Tho, I'm still learning. My son asked for help today at 7:55 a.m. in finding the only pair of pants he wanted to wear to school. My progress is that I didn't get mad and yell, instead I told him what I was going to do.

Me: "Are you asking for my help?"
Sy: "Yes!!"
Me: "I'll look for a little bit, but this is your problem, and we're still leaving at 8:00 a.m. whether or not we find those pants you wanted wear."
Sy: OK, just help me!!
8:00 a.m. No pants. Car is leaving, the world didn't end, and I'm not running around yelling that "We don't have time for this!!" I'm just calmly driving out of the driveway to school.

I still need to work on not lecturing, making sure my words aren't pennies and letting the consequences be his master teacher.

Father of Five:

Thanks for adding some great new tools to our parenting toolbox. We are finding the Fun/Room tactic to work quite well with the young ones. John – almost 2 – picked up on this right away and is doing great with it; Sam – almost 4 – does not like it much, but is definitely coming around. Giving choices to the older boys is beginning to become more of a habit for me (and my wife too) and I think the boys are starting to ‘engage their brains’ and are figuring things out for themselves instead of just waiting for us to step in. But, I think the biggest change I am seeing is in me. I am focusing more on our relationships and simply (or not so simply) controlling just myself, and leaving the control of others to themselves.

Mother of Five:
THANK YOU! Thanks so much for bringing us together on this. I had read the book, but my husband had never been able to finish it with all that we have going on. This made it almost impossible to implement, as we needed to be on the same page. Doing the class in 6 weeks made it seem "doable", we might have said no to 8 or 12 weeks. This gave us the opportunity to learn the same thing at the same time and really experience it together as parents.

I have noticed the biggest change in Tim and I. I remember Tim being just floored when Danny Silk taught that parenting was not about getting compliance or obedience. That is how we have been parenting for 12 years. What a shift in thinking! What I realized about me is that I was doing WAY TOO MUCH for them and not letting them learn how to problem solve or take responsibility for their mistakes.

With one of our boys in particular, I had already realized that when he yelled "You can't make me!" he was right. I couldn't make him. What Loving on Purpose gave me is the tools to help both my darling son and I figure out what to do next.

While it is hard to watch our kids make poor choices (especially school ones), I think our home is becoming more peaceful. Less yelling. It is also fun to see them learn skills that will help them become amazing adults!