Loving On Purpose Champions Testimonies

Here is a testimony from our friend, a Loving On Purpose Champion from the Midwest. 

Hello April (Loving On Purpose Champion Director) and Danny Silk,

I’m a Loving on Purpose Champion who has previously conversed with Danny Silk via email for permission to bring Loving our Kids on Purpose to the Midwest. I have also sent you testimonies in the past that were posted on your blog. I have been sharing the Loving our Kids on Purpose DVDs here in the Minneapolis area as a 8-week class in a parent coaching setting along with a 40-Day Challenge that I’ve developed to complement Loving our Kids on Purpose.

This past Spring 2010, I hosted three Loving our Kids on Purpose 40-Day Challenges:

·      One in the community

·      One in an in-home Bible Study Group

·      One at the Healing House of Metro Hope Ministries – a faith-based program for Moms and their kids coming out of poverty, abuse, and addiction.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure how Loving our Kids on Purpose would be received by the women at the Healing House.  I’m pleased to say that the Loving on Purpose 40-Day Challenge was a huge help to all who attended.  It ended up being one of their favorite weekly classes.  Because of the positive response, the Healing House wants to continually offer the 40-Day Challenge of Loving our Kids on Purpose for every new group of residents that come through because lives are being changed – moms and kids alike!

Below are some of the Loving on Purpose Testimonies I want to pass on along to you and those at Loving on Purpose:

Through the 40-Day Challenge of Loving our Kids on Purpose I came to realize that I parented as the big yellow truck most of the time. I didn’t realize how fearful I was and how I was reacting when my kids came to me with something I didn’t want to hear which made them share less and less each time. I never even thought about working on our heart to heart connections with my kids before. I also learned how to disconnect my “big red buttons” and that I shouldn’t label my kids anymore.

Now I approach my kids differently, more as their “guide” not their “controller”.  There’s less arguing because I don’t react like I used to.  I’m getting to know my kids as people and getting to know their hearts.  I’m also empowering them to take action in their lives and their friendships!  Asking them, “What are you going to do?” is so effective in giving them the opportunity to think about a solution vs. me jumping in and fixing everything.  We have so much more peace in our home.

This has been such a paradigm shift for us! We were controlling parents wanting our children to comply and fit into our rules. We spent most of our time being the police of their behaviors. I now see the need to spend time nurturing our heart to heart relationships and let them know that their feelings and ideas are valued.  We have not treated them as the smart children that they really are! I have done too much of the thinking and fixing for them.

After Loving our Kids on Purpose, I feel like I have a plan now and need to review it often and put it in place. Just this weekend, I used “Hassle Time” with my 12-year old when she was giving me attitude and talking back.  She even came up to me and asked what she needed to do for her “Hassle Time” before I even mentioned it! She did it while a friend was over playing with her and her twin sister!

I feel so much more calm as a parent. Loving on Purpose gave me the tools I needed! Thank you!

Through Loving our Kids on Purpose I have learned that I can’t control my kids.  It’s a myth and is ineffective. Now I’m trying to let them solve problems more with my help if they ask. I’ve stopped taking charge and telling them what to do.  I don’t feel the need to speak so quickly anymore and have learned to give their problems back to them.

On no! Maybe so. Nice try. How that’s working for you? Fun or room and giving choices really works!! Loving on Purpose is so practical and powerful!  Every parent needs to know this and do it!

Loving our Kids on Purpose taught me the importance and effectiveness of listening, speaking less, and asking more questions. I’ve learned how to give my kids logical consequences and let them be responsible for themselves and their own things. It’s amazing, we’re treating each other with greater respect and now my kids are doing chores and following through on their own! It beautiful!!

The other day I had my daughter pay me $ because I had to make her bed for her.  At first she was upset, but now she makes her bed everyday without my asking!

Loving on Purpose should be a parenting “must” for all preschool kids and above!! Everything we learned has been so helpful to us and our kids.  My son got himself into a not so great situation with his cousin.  In the old days I would have yelled at him and punished him for his actions.  This time I asked him questions and he, all on his own, went to his cousin and cleaned up his own mess.  A great life long lesson learned!

Loving on Purpose really opened my eyes to see that God has a plan for parenting. And it is way different then the way I was raised, and what I have seen around me so far. Loving on Purpose has changed the way I view my relationship with my son. I realize now that I cannot control him, but I can offer him choices, which will teach him how to manage his freedom.

Loving on Purpose has given us great parenting tools, but most importantly it’s helped my wife and I to be unified in our parenting and given me a better picture of how God loves us and teaches us. 

Blessings and thanks for the opportunity so I can continue bring the 40-Day Challenge of Loving our Kids on Purpose to families in here in Minnesota! I hope to offer a few more 40-Day Challenges of Loving our Kids on Purpose in the Fall as well!